That’s Funny!

inshaBEST INSHA: CENTRAL PROVINCE KCPE 2011

Turikuwa tumerara for for for. Tukasikia mayowe kwa jilani..wuuuuui… wuuui.. wuuuu…, Kusikia mayowe kwa jilani kwanza nikarenga!!!..Kusikia wuuuui tena nikaona nisi assume kwani wahenga wahenguzi hawakujifunga kiremba cha mbwaa koko waliposema mbiuu ya mgabo ikiria kuna jabo. Nikashuka kitadani kwa mwedo wa hajikwaiiii. Nakwambia kufungua mlango hivi tu nusra nipige ukemi!!, kurikuwa na giza mingi, imejaa kila mahari.Nikasikia uwoga ukipita kwa tubo, harafu roho yangu inagonga mbu! mbu! mbu! Usitake njua vile nilikuwa nimemaka kama kibogoyo ameota akikula mifupa. Nikatembeaa aste aste nikiwaza kinaga ubaga kuerekea kure masauti za mayowe zilikotoka. Nilikuwa nikijaribu kama naweza pata mawe kwa balabala, lakini hiyo balabala ya kwetu hainanga mawe kumbwa kumbwa ni kokoto tu, kwa hivyo nikatoa kiatu nikitumie kama mawe. Nilipokuwa nikitembea nikasikia jogoo amewika kurukuku kuuuuu!!Nikashangaa Abadan katan kwanini amewika mapema hivyo lakini nikakumbuka chambilecho wahenga jogoo wa taoni hawiki ushago. Nikajua huyo jogoo lazima awe anakaa kwa mpaka ya mashambani na mjini, ndiposa hakujua masaa ya kuwika. Nikataka kumwambia huyo jogoo anyamaze lakini nikaona niwache kama walivyo nena waredi hayanihusu ndewe wala sikio ama shingo. Tuendelee na stori ya wezi. Sasa kutembea hivyo hivyo nikaona umati wa watu ukierekea mboma Fulani hapo kwa neiba wetu wamembemba mapanga, ma mawe na makamba. Nikawafuata, kuenda huko nikapigwa na butwa, lakini sikumupiga mimi kwa sababu ya kumuogopa. Kuangalia nje ya ile mboma hapo napo nikapigwa na hamaki,,wololo, palikuwa na kijana wa miraba mine na mwingine mwenya mramba mnusu!!Kijana huyu wa miramba mine alipigwa ngumi na kijana barobaro, jambo hilo linifurahisha nikacheka kwe kwe kwe na bashasha ribo ribo ribo.Kupigwa ngumi alitoka ndamu kwa mapua pole pole mpaka nikaamini ndamu ni nzito kuliko manji. Kando kurikuwa na wamama wanapiga nduru, Kuulizia ni nini kinaendelea ati niwakora wanapigwa.. Nikasikia nimemboeka sana kwani nilidhania ni wezi warikuwa wamekunja kumbe ni wakora…Kwa hivyo nikakubaliana na wahenga wahenguzi na nyakanga ukistanjambia ya Mutha utaona ya firauni,,,kwani nilidhani ni wezi kijijini walipigiwa nduru kumbe ni wakora. Nikirundi nyumbani nikaenda nikumbuka kwamba kila kilicho na mwanzo hakina mwisho..!
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Laughter is the Best Medicine. Proverbs says it like this “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” Proverbs 17:22
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A married couple had been out shopping at the mall most
of the afternoon, when suddenly, the wife realized that her
husband had “disappeared.”

Irate, she called her husband’s cell and demanded “where the
heck are you ?”

“Darling, remember that jewelry shop where you saw the
diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it; and remember
that I didn’t have the money at the time and said ‘Baby it’ll be
yours one day.”

Somewhat embarrassed and with a blushing smile, she replied
“Yes. I remember that my love.”

“Well, I’m in the Bestbuy next to that store.”

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A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.

Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …”

“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.

“What bus should I take home?” the boy finished.

…………………….

One snowy evening a police officer, stops a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. “Good evening, ma’am,” he greets the lady. “How are you this evening?”

“Fine, thank you,” she replied.

The Police officer continues, “Anything to drink this evening?”

Surprised, the lady answered, “No, thank you.”

…………………….

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